Monday, May 21, 2007

Dear Dogs & Cats

This was from an email forward that is perfect for pet owners. Must be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

An open letter to our pets.............

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.

Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.

Beating me to the bottom is not the object.

Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.

Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.

I cannot stress this enough!


Anonymous said...

I LOVE this! It's so funny, and true!

bernie said...

I linked to your article from UN Condemns Lebanon for Disproportionate Response

Joanne said...

Good Stuff. It really hits home.

Anonymous said...

Ha. Thanks for sharing. I can sure relate

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Health Blog said...

If by some miracle I beat you there and manage
to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw

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